Tim Keller's Impact on My Life

As my pastor, professor, and example

(A young Evan and Micah meet their hero for the first time. Photo credit: Leila Vanest)

This past week, a maverick of the Christian faith went on to gain so much more than any of the blessings of this life can offer. Rev. Tim Keller’s passing marks the end of a life so focused on ministering the Gospel to others that it is no exaggeration to rank him as one of the most influential men in New York City’s history. The impact of his ability to bring the scripture to bear on modern life, and his example of that act, has been felt throughout the Church and, indeed, throughout the world. I know of no pastors in this city who can not immediately list off the things they learned from Tim.

I wanted to use this space to detail my own experience with and gratitude for Tim. Leila and I would not live where we live today or be doing what we are doing without the influence that Tim had on us. 

This influence begins at its most impactful. I was a young sophomore in high school with a deep sense of pride and self-worth. Through various trials, which now seem small in retrospect but were then soul-crushing, I soon discovered my desire for success in worldly ambitions was more accurately described as a terrible and haunting fear of failure, one that kept me up through nights trembling at the potential loss of my identity. Any identity built on something other than Christ is inherently fragile, and mine was shattering faster than my self-esteem could rebuild it. 

(Micah (foreground) in class with Tim)

It was in those moments of doubt and pain that I continually came to pastor Tim’s sermons. First introduced to the pastor by my dad, I made a habit of pulling up a youtube video of Tim preaching any time I felt the pressure of my own failure or pride creeping in. For a significant part of my high school life, Tim’s sermons were a part of my daily routine. Indeed, I can’t overstate my thankfulness for the invention of Youtube. Tim’s sermons were filled with hope and always pointed me towards the freedom of the Gospel. 

He used the words of scripture to declare “the gospel is that I am so sinful that Jesus had to die for me, yet so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me. This leads to deep humility and deep confidence at the same time. I can’t feel superior to anyone, and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone.” The victory had already been won! I was already a winner, buoyant against all success and all failure. What great joy! It was the simple message of the Gospel that brought me relief, but it was through Tim’s sermons that this message finally melted into my heart. The message sunk down through my being and became far more real than I ever thought it could. I know the Spirit was at work through Tim’s ministry because I experienced the Spirit’s presence first hand. 

My love of Keller’s work would extend to my most important relationships. My great friend and best man, Evan Livingston, would forge a deep friendship and unconditional commitment to each other because of our shared interest in Keller’s teachings and our mutual investigation of Reformed theology, something that was then new to both of us. It was through this investigation that I began to see a God who was undeniably in control of everything, working out a great and beautiful plan through his covenantal relationships. Indeed, I am presbyterian today because of Keller. This might sound like theology talk, but to us it was also extraordinary emotion and power and it placed the single overarching story of God’s revelation at the center of our own stories. Our friendship, beginning our first year of high school, would carry us forward through life as we later became roommates at Taylor University and now have added our wives into that close friendship as well. 

Speaking of my wife, Leila and I both point to a conversation about the Gospel Coalition (of which Keller was a founder) as the moment that sparks really started flying! In Leila, I found a companion in  life and faith. Much of that was due to Keller’s impact on her own life. Later, Kathy and Tim’s comments and books on marriage would become important tools for our union together. 

It made sense then that, when contemplating what kind of career I wanted to take on, I found myself following a simple logic: I would simply attempt to do what my heroes do. As I became more certain of my calling to a life in full time ministry, I began to search for a seminary to attend after graduating from Taylor. Leila and I already felt a significant pull towards cities (a desire which Keller, again, played a great part in producing) and when making a list of seminaries I wanted to attend, the one that Tim taught at naturally became a favorite. 

Leila and I moved to Manhattan four years ago to jump head first into ministry at a local Church, Central Presbyterian, and I began four years of seminary training at RTS NYC. Here, my interaction with Tim’s work became far more personal as he took time to get to know me and directly answered my questions and my hopes and concerns about life as a pastor. 

Tim received his cancer diagnosis shortly after my second course with him. Yet, he continued to give his time to the next generation of Church leaders right up until this past April. I remember one particularly insightful class, now being held over Zoom because of Tim’s health, in which he gave his bold vision of what direction the Church should take in the future. He was humble in announcing his opinions, but it was clear how much he excitedly anticipated God to act in revival. It was an anticipation of something he had no expectation of seeing for himself; Tim looked far beyond his own earthly life. On the top of my notes that day, I wrote “my marching orders” and the ideas on that page still form the basis of how I think about my own strategy and goals in ministry, including a humble reliance on God to act as He wills. 

Tim spoke honestly about his impending death with his students. Every bit the professor in style and mannerisms, his courage in the face of his decreasing health was the stuff of storied warrior heroes, brandishing their swords against a certain but noble end. Indeed, he played the part of the warrior-poet well with  a heart and soul made for grand adventure. He believed wholeheartedly in the resurrection of the dead.

In these last few days Tim has given me another blessing, one I never expected to receive. This gift comes as the direct result of his death. His faith that he was going to see Jesus now strengthens my own. No one living knows exactly what Tim is experiencing right now, but I am certain that it is very very good. I know enough of his faith to have a great assurance that Christ has Tim firmly in his hand. The reality of Tim’s current joy brings me great joy; his current bliss brings me great hope. My gratitude and praise rise to God, who has shown great love for me through the life of one of his servants. 

Read other posts from Micah at micahbragg.substack.com